The Longest Line

I think I need to start this off with a piece of great music.




So, I found myself in a weird situation today, having to stand in a line to check in at a social services office for a meeting.

Now, anyone who knows me will understand that I try not to be judgemental. I am not foolish enough to think that I am not, but at least give it full faith and effort. I try to see everyone as valuable, and everyone as being important in their own way.

Having said that, there are a few people I could do with out, and all three of them were in line with me today.

The first is dudebroh wanna be outsider fat boy sludge poser guy. Ok so the thing about this guy is that he is not really anything that he wants to be, and he doesn't exactly know that. He is white, but wears his bright shiny new ball cap (bright blue for those playing at home) tilted to the side. He wears his jorts clean, and his sports jersey fresh out of the wash. He is too out of shape to do atheletics, and to weird looking to do coeds. He isn't exactly funny or interesting, nor is he bright or dumb. This guy is just not any thing specific that he wants to be and he pushes through it any way.

The next type of person is angry white boy from the suburbs. He wears designer hoodies, shaves his goatee sharply and wears large designer jeans.

He works out a lot so he is in shape and he eats well so he is never really hungry. He knows he is god's gift to the world because his beleaguered mother tells him so because he baby can't do wrong.

The final person is daddy's little crack whore. You see, I know what makes a true crack whore, a true street demon chick. This girl doesn't have that. This girl was not abused or neglected; in fact, the exact opposite is true. she was spoiled. She got everything she wanted and never learned what it was to consider anyone else.

So first guy shall be called moose, second guy fred durst and third.....let's call her... Samantha. This one looked like a Samantha.

Ok so I walk in and some random person is at the front of the line then fred durst, then me. At the reception desk is Moose.

Moose leaves and walks by, sees fred durst and stops. He begins a complicated greeting ritual that involves hand gestures, slurred speech and nicknames like brah and homie.

They begin discussing how they can stay in contact as Samantha and her friend come up behind me. Moose sees Samantha and smiles and says some version of greeting young lady, it is a pleasure to see you again. At least this is what my douche to english dictionary tells me he said.

Then Samantha notices fred durst, and the game changes. It is clear to me she has had the sex with fred. She touches his arm and does the pouty face and puts herself between moose and fred.

Moose attempts some ham handed attempts to reenter the conversation and get between sam and fred but he quickly leaves without his digits, and presumably to cry.

At this point Samantha appears to be probing why fred durst never called him back even after she let him kick in the screen door.

The recpetionist called him over and he came forward, so did samantha because she wanted him to like her.

She walked halfway to the counter, then just stood there, in front of me. He friend decided this was the perfect oppurtunity to jump the line and proceeded to stand next to her girlfriend, who had just come from the courthouse where she was pretty sure she was just going to have to pay a fine.

Then it came that awkward time where the receptionist had to call someone forward. She wasn't sure who to call since I was in line and this other girl was in front of me. but off to the side.

Samantha begin to move forward. She was too slow, and I was much louder. I jumped in front of her with a giant smile and said hello to the receptionist and told her why I was there.

Samantha gave me a dirty look.

I wish I could have explained to her what happened. Explain to her that her complete lack of interest in anyone other than her is what caused her to be in the postion she is in.

Her complete lack of humility and mistreatment of others is what caused me to decide to treat her poorly.

Maybe if she had valued me, or valued moose...poor moose.

Sometimes you have to be mean ton be kind.