I wanted to make some kind of long drawn out profound statement. I wanted to have great insight which someone else would find valuable, but in the end I just wrote what I wrote, as I am writing what I am writing.
I think we all have something inside us that makes us want to be remembered.Some for the great things they do, and some for the stupidity of their death, and some fore the amazing gifts they pocess. (Ha I bet you thought I was going to do This, but I have waaaay more class than that!)
No matter what the reason, I think people prefer to be remembered, or at least to feel like they will be remembered for something, anything.
To that end, I wanted to write something that people would remember. In the end I kind of only ended up writing this.
Don't get me wrong, I truly enjoy In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins; and in order to avoid a Bret Austin Ellis moment, let us just agree that I like Phil and move on,but I simply realise one inescapable fact. The remembrance of a piece will always be based on the interpretation of the piece.
So many people think that this song is about a guy drowning simply because he uses that term in the song. Hi, my name is metaphor. What this has done has taken a truly transcendent thought and sullied it with the mundane.
I think to a certain extent that is what happens to me. I sit here, or in this case lay here in bed hoping that I have a thought worth sharing, but in the end it is all up to the translation.
Somewhere between my fingers and your eyes my message will maybe be transformed from what I intended to say to what you want to hear. I am starting to like the idea. I really think that if I am to grow as a person I need to be less selfish about what I do and say. If I am going to share, I should probably be prepared for the ramifications of that. Most of the time, since I am neither profound nor esoteric, my message will be loud and clear. On those rare occasions where I manage to create something that means something to someone else, well that is truly when I have created art.
Thoughts are to be shared, chewed, rolled around, refreshed, tried, discarded, discovered again and planted in the sand.I must share, and be willing to have that sharing reciprocated. So say I.
Also, just in case one thinks they have created something special they should always keep in mind that eventually, someone else will do it better.
So today, well last night, I made a promise to myself, I said monkey man, tomorrow you are either going to wake up refreshed and a new person, a better person, or you are going to wake up dead. Either way, a brand new world awaits.
Well, since one of my roommates said hello to me, I am pretty sure I am alive... even if the signs seem to tell me otherwise (Hey that link is so not for the weak of heart. Maybe someday I will explain why a person such as me can enjoy that song, or maybe you will just accept that sometimes the abused, beaten, cowed followers of society have anger and need to break free of what they feel is oppression of their being in such a graphic fashion....wait uhmmm what did he say? Carrying on....)and that means I have to be better...or maybe I can be the same but you know, with a smile....
Anway, if you don't get the point then I am happy for you, it means that you have never felt the sting of self loathing, nor have you miss took hate for love or had a long journey to get to the point where you can imagine yourself happy.
Many a day a person like myself can find joy in little things, but far too often there is sadness in every rejection, no matter how mundane. If you cannot get this it means you are smarter than I am.
This all came about because Darryl who so often challenges me to be the better angel of my nature, tried to get me to read. In our discussion of a character that I found so similar yet so profoundly better than myself I found a reason to get out of bed, even if I didn't yet.
I challenge you to work on yourself everyday. Examine why you do what you do and make sure it is for the right reason. I nearly did a whole bunch of selfish things for the wrong reasons, but caught myself at the last moment. I did so because no measure of hardship can justify being mean to the only people who express caring for you. Oh well.
So if you remember nothing from this seemingly random and nonsensical post, remember this much, I too fail, but I too win.
You too fail but you too win.
I forgive me the fail, and applaud me the win.
I forgive you the fail, and applaud the win.
A new day beckons tomorrow, with brightness and a few clouds maybe, but the brightness is what matters.
