It occured to me that I am a music geek. I say this with all sincerity and esteem. I am proud of the fact that I am a music geek, and not a music nerd.
I bet you are wondering what the difference betweeen the two is. I will tell you since you asked so nicely. The difference is that a music nerd knows the most obscure bands and artists to ever play a wirly wizzit concert on the third Sunday of a Month where it didn't rain in London while three lions were killed in Africa by Poachers during the festival of Shimshammery in Vegas. The answer by the way, I had to look this up, is New Riders of the Purple Sage. (that is the only joke I have ever told that only my step dad would find funny).
A geek is just a guy who really likes music, uses it to alter moods, and takes pride in having an eclectic mix of music most people have heard of. Headstone notwithstanding.
I noticed today that I in fact have a playlist for just about every occasion. I have a playlist for when it is raining outside, for when I am cleaning, for when I am playing baseball on the ps3, for when I am killing people with lightsabers, for when I am writing, for when I am masturbating...er uhmmm did I typoe that last one out loud? Ok so not quite every occasion, but for most of them anyway.
I even have a playlist for when I am talking to certain people, Like Alley for instance. I have a number of songs which I play in order to remind myself that I am a tough no nonsense dude who cannot be pushed around. I generally need this music because she emasculates me on a regular basis. "I think you just suck at that game."
This I think is what can establish my bonefides as a music geek.
I am also one of those people that likes to think he is a smooth talker. Not in the way that allows a person to talk women out of their panties, or men out of their checkbooks, but in the way that I can control the flow of a conversation and generally the tone thereof and effect others emotional states.
I have this sort of set of mental iTunes playlists for when a certain line of discussion is needed. I have several of them and am able to scroll through them generally faster than my crappy laptop can scroll through my list of downloaded porn.
This is a handy thing to have in case you find yourself in a conversation about thermall nuclear war for example. You are able to scroll either to your playlist that is about Mathew Broderick movies or the one you reserve for talking to people who live in the 80's. There is some overlap of those two playlists.
Sometimes, but rarely, I am stuck without a playlist, either a musical one or a mental talk file one. Last night I found myself in this very situation. I could not access cheesy song lyrics or witty banter, and it frustrated the bedazzle out of me.
Have you ever been in as position where you are flipping through possible relevant lists but not finding the one you are looking for?
I was in that situation. Concerned friend didn't seem to fit. The rise and fall of the Byzintine Empire didn't seem to fit. Creepy sex guy didn't seem to fit. Desperate to please guy didn't seem to fit.
For the first time in a long time, my list of convo themes wass as useless to me as my music playlists at Marlee Matlin's birthday party. (OMG! He just made fun of that sexy deaf woman who plays every single sexy deaf woman role ever on television and in movies, can we laugh or should we boo? We should realise we are now stuck in a Wil Wheatonesque parenthetical which may never end, all because political correctness has led us astray, make it stop, for the love of all that is sacred in this world why won't it...). I wanted to be supportive friend, and I wanted to also be celebratory guy. It is rarely in my nature to celebrate the misfortune of others, unless someone is being hit in the groin by a baby, but sometimes their misfortune is my gain.
The situation can only lead to something good for me. Whether it is my Florida dream, more weird telephone calls, or less bitching about life, something good is going to come of this, and I feel guilty for being happy.
I know that I am sometimes the guy that is relied upon to make others feel good about their lot in life, be it by being the prime example of how not to life, or by smooth talking with the wisdom from my extensive playlist. I genuinely feel bad that all I could offer was an ear. I know sometimes that is good, but dammit, I am better than that.
I couldn't even find an appropriate song because there was none required for the emotional state of being. I was more useless than I have ever been.
In some ways, I think it was because I had no idea what was expected of me. I wasn't sure what my roll was, nor what to expect in return. It seems odd to say that, but it was one of those things where a nything could come out of my mouth, and some of it very ungood. My instincts were shot and I had no idea where I was. I was out and about without my gps.
In my younger days, when I was first doing the whole broadcasting thing, I used to carry around this cd case in my briefcase. The cd case had 100 cd's in it. I called it my bag of tricks because no matter what kind of producttion emergency I found myself in, I could find a solution inside that cd case. If one needed a rockin tune about boobs, I had acdc, if one needed frank Sinatra, for what I am not sure, I had that. There were wizzes and wooshies, dzzzts and zooms. Shabang and Classical guitar. It was legendary in some very very small circles.
In some equally small but slightly different circles, I am a go to guy for heads up conversation, but something has happened to me of late. I am all locked up and simply not functioning properly. I have tried banging on the overhead circuitry ala Han Solo in Empire but it hasn't had the desired effect.
I think I require something more drastic.
I think I require a hug and a henderson!
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