Masculin Bovine Excrement

Gonna just get this out of the way, there are going to be one or two dirty words used here today. They are not gratuitous, but sometimes, just sometimes, naughty words are necessary. They convey the message in such a way that no other word can. Some people claim they are merely the work of a tired mind that lacks the ability to use more complex language to put forth an idea.

I disagree. Sometimes one word can convey the thought better than the Queen's english.

Today, that word is bullshit.

I had occasion to recently think about the bullshit we tell ourselves. The little white lies, and the huge gaping black hole lies that suck the world in on us. Both are the makings of disaster, and we seem to do it to ourselves and others constantly.

Everyone seems to hate to face reality. They avoid the truth of things at all costs when the truth is painful. It is a defense mechanism which we utilize everyday. The bullshit we tell ourselves.

One of those big black hole universe sucking lies is, "It'll be better in the morning," or "Tomorrow things will be better."



I remember being told this by my mother all the time when I was little and scared. She was lying. I am not sure if she knew she was lying, I don't have the heart to ask her. Things always seemed to get harder the next day as new pain, new stress or new fear floated in.

I remember Ian telling me this once. I remember laughing at him. I remember the look on his face, it was one of hurt, afterwards. He was wrong. I'd like to think that he was being hopeful and optimistic and not lying, but the truth is, he was goth before goth was cool. That means he always thought the world was going to end tomorrow.

Sometimes it becomes easier for us to tell us things will get better because we can't admit defeat, can't admit that sometimes things get much worse before they get better.

I often find myself wondering why we want to lie to ourselves, even when we want to protect ourselves. This is actually one defence mechanism that I do not possess. I never have been capable of lying to myself. I am not sure if that makes me more or less well adjusted than the average person.

I know far too many people who are so adept at lying to themselves, they rarely even know it is happening. Sometimes we fear things so much, or we are shocked by our own feelings so much we have to lie to ourselves and other about them. It makes it so much easier to cope. But it really doesn't.

What it does is expose that present bias. It exposes the idea that we are ok now because we will be better in the future. Things will be so different in the future that I do not have to worry about the here and now.

I will stop, or start feeling a different way in the future because that future is so different, I can ignore how I feel now. I can ignore the me I project today because the me of the future is actually not going to have to deal with this.

I often wonder what happens if we never deal with these feelings. I often wonder what would happen if we continued to lie about it until the lie becomes the truth and we believe it so much that no matter what someone says, the truth is not enough.

Is it possible to turn a lie in to a reality?

Is it possible to pretend something until that something is willed in to existence? Or, in the end, do we wake up one day, see the truth and cry.

The Navy Seals have a saying, it goes like this:

The only easy day was yesterday.

There is a truth in this. Not a pessimistic truth, but rather a reality of understanding. Today and tomorrow are going to be hard. We are going to have to work for them to make them something worth living and feeling, and once they pass in to history they will in fact be something to look back on fondly. Days to remember with pride and joy because, though it was work, it was hard, it was tiring, it was challenging, it was well worth it.

There is a saying that the SAS use that also applies.

Who dares wins.

You can't sit back and think that the world will change around you in to what you want. You can't say to yourself or anyone else that tomorrow is going to be better simply because it has to, simply because you want it to. You have to go out on a limb. You have to be willing to risk pain. You have to risk losing it all to gain it all. Without this risk there can be no tremendous reward.

Risk carries with it the possibility of pain. It carries with it the unknown, but the unknown is not to be feared, merely conquered.

Risk is much like crisis. It caries with it both danger and opportunity.

Turn from the easy and don't settle for some watered down version of your better tomorrow, and risk everything for the opportunity of everything that could make you happy.

If yesterday was the only easy day, than that makes today the greatest day, because today is the day of opportunity. Today is the day where you can stop the lies, stop the pain and frustration. Today is the day you can walk in the light of a brighter sun. Today is the day you can admit to yourself all the things you lie to yourself about because today is the day tomorrow begins on.