Taking off my shirt.

Do you know what you mean to me? I have tried so many times to explain it, but it never comes out right.

I have tried so many times. I have started, then stopped. But from the moment I first met you I have felt odd. The world has seemed something different and unrecognizable. It is almost like this haze has decended and surrounded me. It permeats my soul and clouds my vision. It makes everything different.

I used to know what the world was, and where things were headed. I had a trajectory. Plans. Ideas. Hopes. But none of it felt right when I met you. It all evaporated when you first looked at me. Maybe your aura split my self apart because of the arcing light. You splintered my shell, shatteredd my defenses and left me raw and open for the first time.

It is one of those meetings that really means nothing at the time. Nothing is memorable about it. The place smelled bad. The atmosphere was rushed, and kind of dank, in the sense that you could feel the lame oozing off of the dumb on lookers. None of them could have understood that at that moment, I felt as if the world changed forever. Nothing would ever be the ssame. Words changedd their meaning. Things I used to know no longer meant what they meant.

I say these high minded, romantic....sappy, stupid things. I say them, not because I think they will work, but rather because they need to be said. I know it matters little to you. It never has. You aren't the kind of person who falls for lines like these, written by guys like me. I hope you understand why, in all else your feelings matter, but in this, I don't give a shit. I would move the earth, do an impression of Zues to make you feel better, but this one time and place, I need to confront you. I need to challenge you.

I have to tell you that I could spend the rest of my life merely sitting next to you holding your hand. I could just stare up at the stars and shoot the shit, and I would be happy. Happier than I have ever been.

It seems odd to me that silence with you is better than talking with anyone else in the world. And I love to talk.

Writing means nothing if you aren't reading it.

Laughter is pointless if it isn't coming out of your lovely mouth.

Talking with you is heaven. It is the definition of all that makes sense and is appealing in the world.

When we talked of other places we would rather be, and discussed being there together, my heart felt the truth of it.

I know it meant something different to you than it did to me, but it still felt right. Throwing it all away, the plans the hopes, would be an easy thing to do, as long as I knew I was doing it for you.

No one understands why we are connected, and to some extent I don't understand it either. I don't know why I can't let go. I don't know why every time I try and walk away I stumble and fall. Why can't I say good bye?

I do not understand why you of all people hold the keys to my hear....the puppet stings. If you say dance, I dance. And I do not dance....ever. You think I danced like a transvestite because I wanted to? I did it merely because you wanted me to.

I torture us, and I don't want to do this.

I could sit here and tell you how beautiful you are, but what will that accomplish? In the end, when I look at you, I see an angel. I see a glow, a flame that never dies. Your beauty doesn't matter because it is simply a mortal aspect of an immortal sense of who you are.

I know that us is almost impossible. It doesn't make much sense when you think about it with your head, but I don't think about it with my head. I think about it with my heart, and the reality of that is that the heart can make anything real. It can make anything possible.

Nothing in this world that iis worth anything is easy, and this isn't.

I cherish you, and every moment with you. I am willing to do anything for you.

I have told you that before, but now I actually understand what it means. I understand sacrifice. I understand difficulty. I understand hardship. I know what I have to do.

I know what I want to do, and if you will have me, I will do it all.

I will make it work, because there is something magical about you, and something magical about the time we spend together. It just always feels right.

I guess there is nothing left to say. Tell me what to do, and I will do it.

Understand that this is never going to change. We can never go back, but we can be brave and go forward. We can be strong and say, it is worth it to try. It is worth it to say, screw the wrongs, let's hold on to what is right. Let us build on what is right and make it perfect.

What do I have to do?

What do I have to do to earn your love, and if I can't win your love, what do I have to do?

You can run and hide, but we both deserve more than that. We deserve to fix this, both of us.

Don't run away, don't turn away. Say what you need to say.

I owe you everything, and all you owe me is honesty and an answer.

I went out and found myself. I worked on me to get better, smarter, stronger, faster. I cleaned out my closet, and now I stand before you, naked and alone. I have no armor. I have no defenses. I have no need to lie to you. Ask me all, and the truth will be yours.

What do I have to do?