Women`s issues.

I know what you are all thinking, this is going to be me complaining about how I suck with the ladies, and you would be wrong.

In recent weeks, many different issues primarily effecting the feminine aspect of humanity have cropped up, and I have been derelict in my duty as an internet pundit to wax philosophical about them.

A couple of weeks ago, the highest court in Ontario deemed certain aspects of anti-prostitution legislation unconstitutional, or counter to the charter as we say in the frozen north.

Those aspects are:

1. Communication for the purposes of prostitution.

2. Running a common bawdy house.

3. Profiting from prostitution.


So what does that mean? Basically it means the only thing illegal about prostitution is doing it on the street, which by the way is illegal when money is not involved... a lesson I learned in Ottawa from a nice police officer who decided not to bust me and my girlfriend. I gotta tell ya, nothing ruins crazy monkey make up sex in a compact car more than a cop beaming his beatstick in your car window.

Essentially, you can pimp, you can run ads, you can tell a guy named john that half and half is 150, round the world is 200 and dressing up like wonderwoman and stripping to theme from mighty mouse is 90,210. (that is a great joke btw if you get it, and if you don't it is because you are one of the 99.9% of the people in the world who took a pass on Mallrats) You can also run a happy ending message parlour, or you don't even have to bother with the pretense of an awkward, sweaty, oily rub down and just hang a red light outside your door...which is something I am considering doing just to see what happens. Can't be any worse than the douche's who frequent my porch now.

On one hand, this is a major step forward in protecting women in the sex trade from abuse as it brings these things out of the dark alleys and sheds some light on them. It provides the government to set up standards and practices which can help protect the safety and health of these women and provides for recourse and redress of grievances.

On the other hand, it does nothing to protect women who are often dragged in to these situation kicking and screaming.

Now the hope is, that because it is going to be above board, and regulated, those underground pimps will be pushed out of business, and we will see something more akin to the bunny ranch. This is true, but only to a point.

You see, people will still want to get their freak on, and they will still need someone to provide those services. Now one can make an argument that once the police are no longer focused on what two consenting adults do behind closed doors, they can focus on what one consenting adult does behind closed doors.

While this is true, it ignores the fact that the police already do this to some extent. No police force will ever admit to selective policing, but I can assure you, it exists.

I have seen police look the other way when it does not involve violence, or what we called civilians.

I have heard stories of the catch and release programs that harass more than they curtail.

It is somewhat similar to the whole parental notion, better the devil we know then the unknown demons. This is the philosophy that allows some parents to look the other way, and have basement parties for their 16 year olds to get blotto at. I can understand this philosophy to a certain extent as a certain level of experimentation and curiosity is healthy.

This is exactly the philosophy of many police departments.

Heck, I live with a drug dealer. I know he is a dealer, and I am certain the police do as well. Yet, until last night, he was quiet, respectful and went about his business in a non threatening manner. As long as he keeps that up, he will most likely never be busted, unless someone needs a headline, or he is part of a chain of events that leads to the pretty blonde girl having something bad happen to her...but that is a whole different issue.

Back on track... what some are afraid of is that this will make prostitution a viable career option for young ladies. I am not sure how true that is, or if even this would have an effect considering the million other messages that inform young ladies that they can trade sex for goods and services.

I would tell you to check out mtv, but I don't think they have a show that plays videos anymore, but that is ok, I do believe they replaced all their videos of half naked young girls simulating sex acts with everyone with half hour shows of actual young woman who have real sex with random people...I am looking at you Kardasians....though I think your show is on E! ir some equally useless television station.

There is no glamour in being a prostitute. There is nothing glitzy, sexy or empowering about it. It is a thankless, emotionless, mechanical existence full of stale intentions and broken lives. Legal or not, that will not change.

Making it legal doesn't make it a better choice than it is, merely a safer one for the majority of the people involved in it.

As for the young ladies out there who are dragged, forced, abandoned, abused, neglected in to it, this will have zero effect on that.

We are to blame for that. We as a whole. We create an environment where it is ok to sexualize children. We live in a society where we make it possible for us to turn sexuality in to a weapon.

I recently began reading a book on the issue, and the thing I learned I wish to share with you at this time is the meaning of Lolita.

You see, we bandy about this term to describe the wanton sexual advances of young girls, or more to the point, the awkward sexuality that they present as they begin to discover this aspect of themselves. We use it to fullfill a fantasy of the taboo, and to make ourselves feel better about desires that are not socially acceptable.

Thing is, that is not what the author of Lolita meant. What you need to understand is that the Lolita character is a tragic figure. A young girl who is abused and tormented by her stepfather who justifies his actions by misinterpreting her actions and then labeling them as sexual advances.

The character of Lolita never does a single thing to invite this rape and abuse. Lolita is a victim, and not a seductive underage mistress.

That is a whole new thing we have created. I am not sure what we should label what we have done, but it is not healthy and it most assuredly is not right.

We have taken the developing sexuality of pre adolescent and adolescent girls and we have adopted a new attitude. One which allows for us to misuse and abuse it for our purposes; whether we are trying to sell sexy underwear or trying to find sexual gratification actually is beside the point.

This is what creates an atmosphere where selling sex for goods and services is a viable career choice.

At the same time we are regressing in our sexual education, we are tossing out sex symbols, sexually provocative clothing and mores that don`t jive with what we say.

Is it any wonder that youth, and most especially young women are confused and manipulated into situations beyond their ability to understand them or cope?

We need to broaden education, not limit it. We need to understand how sexuality develops and deal with it naturally and without shame or prudishness.

Sex is dirty, nasty, slimy, sweaty, and sex smells bad. Sex is wonderful and natural, and a true expression of feeling, and sex feels great.

Sex is a natural aspect of who we are, and sexuality is a natural expression of society and of our inherent nature. It is a thing to be celebrated, and a thing to be smart about. It is a thing everyone should be eased in to. Sexuality should develop over time, as the person matures and develops. It is not something to be thrust on to a person too early, or left until it is too late and they have no understanding of the things they are already going through.

Sex and sexuality is not something to hide, nor is it something that needs wanton flagrant flaunting in the streets...you know, unless that is fun and consensual and so forth.

Sex and sexuality is not a thing we should fear, it is a thing we should embrace.

In the spirit of my philosophy of authentic blogging of who I am: I love sex. It feels fantastic.

Of course there are different levels of sex.

Fucking. This is that animalistic type of sex which happens when desire outweighs anything else. This is raunchy and wet and dirty. It is best done between two people who know each other and each other`s bodies. It is the most fun because it is about true abandon, but it can only come about when the parties are in touch with each other, otherwise it becomes the next category.

Screwing. This is passionless sex. This is what prostitutes do, and it is what drunken teens and twenty somethings do. It usually preceeds deep regret and shame. This is what happens when people lack understanding of their sexuality and the true nature of sex. This is what happens when two uneducated morons decide to bump uglies.

Sex. This is your generic, I wanna get off type thing. This is what people mean by getting laid. This is fun sometimes, and sometimes it is a chore, but it is almost always satisfying in a narrow way. This is what married couples do after the first year and 90% of the time. It is also the type of sex that happens to unmarried people when the spark is lost and they are too lazy to end the relationship until one of the partners decides to seek a more fullfilling outside source of gratification.

Making Love. The true art form of sex. This is what happens between two people who are connected so deeply that they just mesh. This is slow and low, and it is sensual and romantic. It is not a myth and it is not just something that happens in trashy novels or chick flicks. This is that true outpouring of emotion that happens on several occasions for married people, or people in love. It doesn`t happen all the time, but when it does, it is the most awesomest feeling in the entire universe...I am assuming, since my frame of reference is somewhat small, though I do plan a trip to Jupiter at some point.

Fetish. I do not understand this category because I don`t have one. This isn`t just BDSM; it also includes, but is not limited to, having sex with feet, inanimate objects, anyone other than me, people in mascot uniforms, food (no I am not talking about that one time with the whipped cream and cherries, that is just fun...or the banana incident, I mean people who need to use food as a sexual surrogate) and voyeurs and the like. I simply have no...uhmmm...I hesitate to use the word abnormal, but...well I haven`t crosswired sex with anything out of the standard accepted realms.

Lastly we have abuse. This is where people have crosswiured sex and love with hate and anger. Yes, one must admit that a large segment of the ladies of negotiable affection (seriously, did you think I would not get that in here) population fits in here. The abused tend to dehumanize sex and their partners. Needing that same release we all do, they have designed a system that simply is unhealthy to get it.

We need to extol the virtues of some of this, and warn against the pitfalls of other aspects.

Simply saying, stay celibate, or stay safe is not enough.

Understanding desire and connection is more important than any other aspect of sexuality. It is at the center of all of our actions and when we can master our desires, by truly understanding and accepting them, we can learn to control them, channel them in to healthy outlets and live a more fullfilling (sex) life.

Of course, what the hell do I know, I am just a lonely guy wookin pah nub in all da wong paces.