I wrote this big long post that was full of funny and wisdom, then erased it, 'cause it sucked, and that is pretty much what this is about.
I could go on a big long journey of self exploration where I bare my soul to the internet in a totally heretofore unheard of display of perfect honesty and forthrightness the likes of which have may never be seen again.Or, I can just say I am feeling like Anakin Skywalker. No not Cool sexy Anakin from episode three. Not even whiny petulant Anakin from episode two. I feel like pathetic life form Anakin from episode one. "I can't do it mom, I just can't do it."
I suppose if I spent more time listening to my L7 (NSFW) I would know what to do with all of those people who fill my head with doubt. I wonder what you do when it is you? Can you put yourself on your own shitlist?
As the target date approaches for my submission of craptacular verbiage to old white money guy, I am more and more convinced it can't be done. I think it was unrealistic to have had the expectations he had in the first place, but I also think this is a cromulant waste of time. (Sorry had a bet that I could fit both craptacular and a simpson's reference into the same thought...yay me)
When I read what I had written it just didn't seem like it was anything of value. Maybe I have unrealistic expectatrions of myself but the fact is, if I am going to try and force people to give me money for something, I want it to be worth their time and money. I am not convinced I have that capability. Oh sure I can entertain a few friends at parties and keep some people's interest online for about 4 minutes, but that is all free stuff. There is a higher standard when people shell out their dough for it.
To that end, I am cancelling my end of this project. I just feel I can't deliver something worth people's $10 in under a month.
Self doubt blows.
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