Grow Up Already

The last few days have been incredibly difficult for me for one reason and one reason only.

I have been forced to accept I am old.

It first started to dawn on me when I realised I was no longer young and cool enough to be part of the crowd who hangs out and parties. I also realised I was not old enough to sit at home and play parchese, or whatever it is old people do.

I am in that transition zone built mostly for people with young families and mid level jobs.

I myself am alone and in a dead end job I hate. The kind of thing early to mid tweenties dorksticks do.

I am too old to be that guy. I am too old to be shiftless and merely concerned with my own entertainment and making ironic comments on annoying celebrities.

I need to grow up. I had to realise today at the hospital that I need to start taking care of myself. The doctor frightened me with his talk. He essentially said my body was rebelling. And rightfully so. I have abused it for a very very long time.

I am at a loss for what to do. It all seems so foreign and difficult.

I just want to have fun, but I am too old to do that, yet I am completely unattractive to people my own age.

Life has passed me by.

It makes me sad to realise that I have no peers, and people now look at me as the douchey old guy trying to look cool and overacting with the kids. They look at me as a joke, and that pisses me off.

The older people look at me as immature, and that just pisses me off.

Once again, I am on the outside looking in, and it makes me sad....and pissed off.