Beggary

It occured to me today that we all see the world in our own way. Perception is based on previous experience.

The psychological and physiological theory is about sense memory. The majority of our vision is based on previous knowledge and experience. This leads us to all experience the world in our fashion, in our own little box, where everything is experienced in a special way.

When I look at you, I see something different than when you look at you.

Some days, like today, I would like to see the world the way you do. I want to see the world as a place of goodness and light. I would like to see the sunshine as more than a betrayer of shadows. A light source that only means I have to hide more, or wait longer for the warm embrace of the darkness which hides my shame, hides my ugliness, hides my anger.

I would like to see the world of possibility instead of the world of probability.

It is the difference between the optimist and the pessimist, but it is more than that. If only I could understand how the world sees me, then I could know what to do. Then I could know how to act, how to change, how to survive in your world.

I am still on the outside, still looking in. I am still seeing the dark places in the world instead of the bright spots, and I am still seeing my own self as something unworthy.

I would love to see how you see the world and how you see me. Unfortunately, there is never truth in this world. No one will ever tell you what they think or how they feel. They think they are doing you a favour, but in the end, they are not sparing your feelings, they are sparing their own.

No one ever seeks growth and true exchange of thought and feeling. people just seek the easy way out. They search for the minimum they have to do to get out without having to confront reality.

Confronting reality means challenging your perceptions. Seeing something for what it truly is, rather than for what you created it to be. Seeing the true dimensions of a thing instead of what you think the thing is.

Look at me. What do you see?

Lend me your eyes and I will tell you a tale.