What I got you gotta get it, put it in you.
Startin this one off with the musical interlude. For those that, for whatever reason, fail to remember the early 90's, that is the red hot chili peppers, prior to learning to play their intruments. I say that with some degree of affection, since I did in fact enjoy the album. I liked it so much that I eeven ordered it from Columbia House....ok truth is Reginald P. Ness Ordered it from Columbia House, but you get the point. It really is a wonder they stayed in business as long as they did, or that for some reason, Warner Bros. has decided to use the same business model again for orde4ring dvd's.
I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but.... Dear Warner Bros., your refusal to change your business model in light of new media and emerging revenue streams is the death nell of your company....that and doing movies like Cop Out. Physical media is somewhat outdated, and if like Blockbuster, you refuse to see it, you are in fact doing your shareholders a disservice. Please understand,for the next 10-15 years, people like my parents will continue to seek out old formats as that is all they know, but eventually they will be replaced by their children. Generation X eats new media and craps out diamonds....if you understand how to tap that ass.
You see, each subsequint generatrion will seek out the new media. Generation X, soon to be the dominant generation in the market place are the pioneers of internet content. Generation Y has always known the internet, and Generation Next has never lived without you tube.
We do not want your plastic earth killers, and we certainly don't give a crap about your scheduled television and your $8 popcorn. The sooner you get with the program, the sooner we will all be snug and making each other money.
Continuing to listten to Harvard MBA`s who learned from dead white guys how to do business is not the wave of the future.
X and Y were the early adopters of TiVo. They were the ones holding the camera for Steve-O. We are the ones that made lolcats and the meme a reality.
But I digress. The issue I am here to talk about is the new content, the new media, the new business model.
In a sense, it is the George Lucas school of economics. Screw the box office, show me the lunch box money! Content is shifting to free. More and more it becomes a ridiculous battle to fight it. Creative Commons is the wave of the future, and not understanding how it works, and why people are in to it is a mistake.
Think about it this way, I can either pay you 20 bucks to go see your movie, or I can watch a bunch of nobodies do someething similar for free. I can pay 50 bucks to go to a Dane Cook concert, or I can listen to a free podcast.
I can pay you 16.99 for a cd of music, or I can go to a local club, pay 5 bucks and hear the same thing.
Think of the internet as a local club. I can now interact with anyone and everyone, and I can hear their stuff.
This is no different than what was going on in the school yard. I remember clearly the day I went to school and told everyone about how cool this record of Bill Cosby was. Then I brought all my friends over to listen to it. Then we went to the local record store and bought more.
The internet is the new school yard. We are sharing the stuff we think is cool with each other. Wanting to cap that, control it and monetize it is as ridiculous as it would have been for you to send hired goons to my school to beat me up.
Content is no longer something people wish to pay for in the old fashion. We like to know what we are buying.
Here`s why.
When my friend Chris and I went to that record store, we picked up three things. A Frantics tape. A Monty Pythin Tape, and an Emo Philips tape.
To this day, I have that same Frantics material (only now it is a digital copy on my harddrive), and I can quote every single routine from the Monty Python tape.
I wish Emo physical harm.
I hated it. With a passion. I hated it so much I played it about 50 times for my parents because I knew they hated it. The only joy I got out of it was annoying people. Think of it as the original Rick Roll. Get in the car for a long drive, hand tape to parents and say, oh this is really good stuff, you are going to like it. Die of laughter.
Your product being a torture device is not a good thing. Because I wasted what little money I had on that stupid tape, I was angry. I was angry at Emo, I was angry at Capitol Records, and I have been angry ever since.
Lesson learned is, try it before you buy it. Not only that, but, why waste money on something I might like? Better to spend that money on something I know I like.
I would have rather purchased a Bill Cosby tshirt. I would have rather gone to a Bill Cosby concert than have spent the money on that Emo tape.
You jaded me. And now you want to take away my opurtunity to test drive my entertainment. I think not.
People can get content in any number of ways. Your decision to limit content, rather than understanding the new way to mentize.
Here are some great examples from people who have harnassed the power of the new media.
Kevin Smith and the smodcast network.
They provide a plethora of greta entertainment for free. They also provide some entertainment, bonus stuff for pay. You want more of this, go buy something from one of our advertisers and you get a free bonus podcast. They have show sponsors. They do a two or three minute commercial at the begining of the show, and then that's it. If I want the extras, I have to pay. It is a good system. TRhey also made a live venue where you can pay to watch them record the podcasts. I am not sure if it is working out for him, but it is a great idea, and something that should be encouragedd to more people. I would pay to go, if I lived in the area. I also pay for all sorts of Smith mechandise.
Wil Wheaton. The Wheaton gives free samples of his work. Like what you hear? Go buy it. Again, he provides extras for his paying customers, but does not screw over how audience in the process. The beauty of this system is that if I don't think I am going to like it, I don't have to buy it. I am still a Wil Wheaton fan, and in the future, if he puts out something I do like, I will buy it. Had I purchased something from him, not liked, I would most likely never interact with him again. How much money do you think I spent on Emo after that first album? What you want is a free pass to put out shit content, force me to purchase it, and then pcket the money. I never ever ever again want to walk out of a theatre, having spent nearly 30 bucks saying, "wow, that sucked." No one but the makers of crap want that.
Felicia Day. Felicia is the producer of the ground breaking show The Guild. This is a web based program. It is free to watch. Now that I have money, I fully intend to purchase some guild swag. I like what I see and I want more of it, so please, let me know how to get more. One of the ways they monetize is by getting sponsors. These sponsors get a short commercial at the begining of an episode and a wackload of banner ads.
Chris Hardwick of G4. This guy produces a weekly podcast. It is funny...called the Nerdist podcast btw, and see what he does is gives me this really cool thing for free, then promotes his live shows....which cost money. I would go to one of those shows, if they were anywhere near me. I would gladly go because I know I am going to like it.
So many times I have been burned by crap I just haven't liked. I harken back to the name of one of my favourite albums. NOFX, I heard they suck live. Because I knwo they do not, I will pay to see them. I will not pay to see other crap live. Just not going to happen.
You want to know why I gave away my tv and refuse to pay for cable? Because I don't feel it is worth the money.
I have reached my threshold of what I am willing to pay for, and the crap you make me watch isn't worth it. Give me good entertainment and I will sit through a commercial every 10 minutes....1 damn commercial mind you, not 5 minutes of them. When did commercials become the content? You understand that the instant the commercials became better than the shows was the instant most people with a brain tuned out right?
You want to make money, you need to follow the trend, not fight it tooth and nail. You need to be reminded of the fact that people are willing to pay for that which they deem worth it.
The crap you feed us is not worth paying for. You have two options. Make better stuff or have me arrested for downloading it. You can find a way to make money off me. I am not that hard to find, and lord knows my wallet doesn't require hacking to get in to.
It requires ingenuity. It requires creativity, and most of all it requires entertaining me. There is a vast difference between filling an empty hole in space time and providing a valuable product or service.
If the choice is between watching CSI Moose Jaw and listening to Smodcast, guess what I am going to do? If the choice is between free chance I might like something and 30 dollar chance, I am going to choose free chance every damn time.
Think of it this way, when you are playing monopoly and you land on chance, the banker doesn't charge you 50 bucks to pick upm the chance card, you just pick it up.
Want me to pay for something? Make sure I am going to like it. Or, do like the drug dealers do, hey, if you liked that you need to try this, or you need to pay for the extra bump. A free show once a week might be worth my entertainment dollars....in the form of merchandising, concerts, donations, advertising dollars spent.
What are you afraid of?
Having to actually make something worth the money we spend on it?
Ok, so this was supposed to be me bitching about people bitching about people who bitch about free stuff, but I got rolling and couldn't stop. Before congress in the United States is a bill that would seriously regulate content on the internet. It would allow copyright holders to permanantly delete websites from the internetwhen the content is counter to their business interests. This is a huge mistake. It takes content management out of the hands of consumers and gives it to producers. This is exactly what happened to television. When faced with certain choices, we can't help but take the lesser of two evils. We settle for inferior because the choice is between unwatchable and mediocre.
Rather than define content narrowly, we need to redefine what consumer means. So many people are coming up with ways to monetize their content without compromising it, or the consumer's access to it. Perhaps we should allow progress, rather than allow people with outdated modes of doing things to control how the future unfolds.
On demand, file sharing, podcasting, blogging and all the other web based content is not a fad. Nature finds a way, it always does, and our nature is to share and be likedd by our peers. You can force it underground if you want, but it is not going away.
Showing posts with label poop jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poop jokes. Show all posts
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Women`s issues.
I know what you are all thinking, this is going to be me complaining about how I suck with the ladies, and you would be wrong.
In recent weeks, many different issues primarily effecting the feminine aspect of humanity have cropped up, and I have been derelict in my duty as an internet pundit to wax philosophical about them.
A couple of weeks ago, the highest court in Ontario deemed certain aspects of anti-prostitution legislation unconstitutional, or counter to the charter as we say in the frozen north.
Those aspects are:
1. Communication for the purposes of prostitution.
2. Running a common bawdy house.
3. Profiting from prostitution.
So what does that mean? Basically it means the only thing illegal about prostitution is doing it on the street, which by the way is illegal when money is not involved... a lesson I learned in Ottawa from a nice police officer who decided not to bust me and my girlfriend. I gotta tell ya, nothing ruins crazy monkey make up sex in a compact car more than a cop beaming his beatstick in your car window.
Essentially, you can pimp, you can run ads, you can tell a guy named john that half and half is 150, round the world is 200 and dressing up like wonderwoman and stripping to theme from mighty mouse is 90,210. (that is a great joke btw if you get it, and if you don't it is because you are one of the 99.9% of the people in the world who took a pass on Mallrats) You can also run a happy ending message parlour, or you don't even have to bother with the pretense of an awkward, sweaty, oily rub down and just hang a red light outside your door...which is something I am considering doing just to see what happens. Can't be any worse than the douche's who frequent my porch now.
On one hand, this is a major step forward in protecting women in the sex trade from abuse as it brings these things out of the dark alleys and sheds some light on them. It provides the government to set up standards and practices which can help protect the safety and health of these women and provides for recourse and redress of grievances.
On the other hand, it does nothing to protect women who are often dragged in to these situation kicking and screaming.
Now the hope is, that because it is going to be above board, and regulated, those underground pimps will be pushed out of business, and we will see something more akin to the bunny ranch. This is true, but only to a point.
You see, people will still want to get their freak on, and they will still need someone to provide those services. Now one can make an argument that once the police are no longer focused on what two consenting adults do behind closed doors, they can focus on what one consenting adult does behind closed doors.
While this is true, it ignores the fact that the police already do this to some extent. No police force will ever admit to selective policing, but I can assure you, it exists.
I have seen police look the other way when it does not involve violence, or what we called civilians.
I have heard stories of the catch and release programs that harass more than they curtail.
It is somewhat similar to the whole parental notion, better the devil we know then the unknown demons. This is the philosophy that allows some parents to look the other way, and have basement parties for their 16 year olds to get blotto at. I can understand this philosophy to a certain extent as a certain level of experimentation and curiosity is healthy.
This is exactly the philosophy of many police departments.
Heck, I live with a drug dealer. I know he is a dealer, and I am certain the police do as well. Yet, until last night, he was quiet, respectful and went about his business in a non threatening manner. As long as he keeps that up, he will most likely never be busted, unless someone needs a headline, or he is part of a chain of events that leads to the pretty blonde girl having something bad happen to her...but that is a whole different issue.
Back on track... what some are afraid of is that this will make prostitution a viable career option for young ladies. I am not sure how true that is, or if even this would have an effect considering the million other messages that inform young ladies that they can trade sex for goods and services.
I would tell you to check out mtv, but I don't think they have a show that plays videos anymore, but that is ok, I do believe they replaced all their videos of half naked young girls simulating sex acts with everyone with half hour shows of actual young woman who have real sex with random people...I am looking at you Kardasians....though I think your show is on E! ir some equally useless television station.
There is no glamour in being a prostitute. There is nothing glitzy, sexy or empowering about it. It is a thankless, emotionless, mechanical existence full of stale intentions and broken lives. Legal or not, that will not change.
Making it legal doesn't make it a better choice than it is, merely a safer one for the majority of the people involved in it.
As for the young ladies out there who are dragged, forced, abandoned, abused, neglected in to it, this will have zero effect on that.
We are to blame for that. We as a whole. We create an environment where it is ok to sexualize children. We live in a society where we make it possible for us to turn sexuality in to a weapon.
I recently began reading a book on the issue, and the thing I learned I wish to share with you at this time is the meaning of Lolita.
You see, we bandy about this term to describe the wanton sexual advances of young girls, or more to the point, the awkward sexuality that they present as they begin to discover this aspect of themselves. We use it to fullfill a fantasy of the taboo, and to make ourselves feel better about desires that are not socially acceptable.
Thing is, that is not what the author of Lolita meant. What you need to understand is that the Lolita character is a tragic figure. A young girl who is abused and tormented by her stepfather who justifies his actions by misinterpreting her actions and then labeling them as sexual advances.
The character of Lolita never does a single thing to invite this rape and abuse. Lolita is a victim, and not a seductive underage mistress.
That is a whole new thing we have created. I am not sure what we should label what we have done, but it is not healthy and it most assuredly is not right.
We have taken the developing sexuality of pre adolescent and adolescent girls and we have adopted a new attitude. One which allows for us to misuse and abuse it for our purposes; whether we are trying to sell sexy underwear or trying to find sexual gratification actually is beside the point.
This is what creates an atmosphere where selling sex for goods and services is a viable career choice.
At the same time we are regressing in our sexual education, we are tossing out sex symbols, sexually provocative clothing and mores that don`t jive with what we say.
Is it any wonder that youth, and most especially young women are confused and manipulated into situations beyond their ability to understand them or cope?
We need to broaden education, not limit it. We need to understand how sexuality develops and deal with it naturally and without shame or prudishness.
Sex is dirty, nasty, slimy, sweaty, and sex smells bad. Sex is wonderful and natural, and a true expression of feeling, and sex feels great.
Sex is a natural aspect of who we are, and sexuality is a natural expression of society and of our inherent nature. It is a thing to be celebrated, and a thing to be smart about. It is a thing everyone should be eased in to. Sexuality should develop over time, as the person matures and develops. It is not something to be thrust on to a person too early, or left until it is too late and they have no understanding of the things they are already going through.
Sex and sexuality is not something to hide, nor is it something that needs wanton flagrant flaunting in the streets...you know, unless that is fun and consensual and so forth.
Sex and sexuality is not a thing we should fear, it is a thing we should embrace.
In the spirit of my philosophy of authentic blogging of who I am: I love sex. It feels fantastic.
Of course there are different levels of sex.
Fucking. This is that animalistic type of sex which happens when desire outweighs anything else. This is raunchy and wet and dirty. It is best done between two people who know each other and each other`s bodies. It is the most fun because it is about true abandon, but it can only come about when the parties are in touch with each other, otherwise it becomes the next category.
Screwing. This is passionless sex. This is what prostitutes do, and it is what drunken teens and twenty somethings do. It usually preceeds deep regret and shame. This is what happens when people lack understanding of their sexuality and the true nature of sex. This is what happens when two uneducated morons decide to bump uglies.
Sex. This is your generic, I wanna get off type thing. This is what people mean by getting laid. This is fun sometimes, and sometimes it is a chore, but it is almost always satisfying in a narrow way. This is what married couples do after the first year and 90% of the time. It is also the type of sex that happens to unmarried people when the spark is lost and they are too lazy to end the relationship until one of the partners decides to seek a more fullfilling outside source of gratification.
Making Love. The true art form of sex. This is what happens between two people who are connected so deeply that they just mesh. This is slow and low, and it is sensual and romantic. It is not a myth and it is not just something that happens in trashy novels or chick flicks. This is that true outpouring of emotion that happens on several occasions for married people, or people in love. It doesn`t happen all the time, but when it does, it is the most awesomest feeling in the entire universe...I am assuming, since my frame of reference is somewhat small, though I do plan a trip to Jupiter at some point.
Fetish. I do not understand this category because I don`t have one. This isn`t just BDSM; it also includes, but is not limited to, having sex with feet, inanimate objects, anyone other than me, people in mascot uniforms, food (no I am not talking about that one time with the whipped cream and cherries, that is just fun...or the banana incident, I mean people who need to use food as a sexual surrogate) and voyeurs and the like. I simply have no...uhmmm...I hesitate to use the word abnormal, but...well I haven`t crosswired sex with anything out of the standard accepted realms.
Lastly we have abuse. This is where people have crosswiured sex and love with hate and anger. Yes, one must admit that a large segment of the ladies of negotiable affection (seriously, did you think I would not get that in here) population fits in here. The abused tend to dehumanize sex and their partners. Needing that same release we all do, they have designed a system that simply is unhealthy to get it.
We need to extol the virtues of some of this, and warn against the pitfalls of other aspects.
Simply saying, stay celibate, or stay safe is not enough.
Understanding desire and connection is more important than any other aspect of sexuality. It is at the center of all of our actions and when we can master our desires, by truly understanding and accepting them, we can learn to control them, channel them in to healthy outlets and live a more fullfilling (sex) life.
Of course, what the hell do I know, I am just a lonely guy wookin pah nub in all da wong paces.
In recent weeks, many different issues primarily effecting the feminine aspect of humanity have cropped up, and I have been derelict in my duty as an internet pundit to wax philosophical about them.
A couple of weeks ago, the highest court in Ontario deemed certain aspects of anti-prostitution legislation unconstitutional, or counter to the charter as we say in the frozen north.
Those aspects are:
1. Communication for the purposes of prostitution.
2. Running a common bawdy house.
3. Profiting from prostitution.
So what does that mean? Basically it means the only thing illegal about prostitution is doing it on the street, which by the way is illegal when money is not involved... a lesson I learned in Ottawa from a nice police officer who decided not to bust me and my girlfriend. I gotta tell ya, nothing ruins crazy monkey make up sex in a compact car more than a cop beaming his beatstick in your car window.
Essentially, you can pimp, you can run ads, you can tell a guy named john that half and half is 150, round the world is 200 and dressing up like wonderwoman and stripping to theme from mighty mouse is 90,210. (that is a great joke btw if you get it, and if you don't it is because you are one of the 99.9% of the people in the world who took a pass on Mallrats) You can also run a happy ending message parlour, or you don't even have to bother with the pretense of an awkward, sweaty, oily rub down and just hang a red light outside your door...which is something I am considering doing just to see what happens. Can't be any worse than the douche's who frequent my porch now.
On one hand, this is a major step forward in protecting women in the sex trade from abuse as it brings these things out of the dark alleys and sheds some light on them. It provides the government to set up standards and practices which can help protect the safety and health of these women and provides for recourse and redress of grievances.
On the other hand, it does nothing to protect women who are often dragged in to these situation kicking and screaming.
Now the hope is, that because it is going to be above board, and regulated, those underground pimps will be pushed out of business, and we will see something more akin to the bunny ranch. This is true, but only to a point.
You see, people will still want to get their freak on, and they will still need someone to provide those services. Now one can make an argument that once the police are no longer focused on what two consenting adults do behind closed doors, they can focus on what one consenting adult does behind closed doors.
While this is true, it ignores the fact that the police already do this to some extent. No police force will ever admit to selective policing, but I can assure you, it exists.
I have seen police look the other way when it does not involve violence, or what we called civilians.
I have heard stories of the catch and release programs that harass more than they curtail.
It is somewhat similar to the whole parental notion, better the devil we know then the unknown demons. This is the philosophy that allows some parents to look the other way, and have basement parties for their 16 year olds to get blotto at. I can understand this philosophy to a certain extent as a certain level of experimentation and curiosity is healthy.
This is exactly the philosophy of many police departments.
Heck, I live with a drug dealer. I know he is a dealer, and I am certain the police do as well. Yet, until last night, he was quiet, respectful and went about his business in a non threatening manner. As long as he keeps that up, he will most likely never be busted, unless someone needs a headline, or he is part of a chain of events that leads to the pretty blonde girl having something bad happen to her...but that is a whole different issue.
Back on track... what some are afraid of is that this will make prostitution a viable career option for young ladies. I am not sure how true that is, or if even this would have an effect considering the million other messages that inform young ladies that they can trade sex for goods and services.
I would tell you to check out mtv, but I don't think they have a show that plays videos anymore, but that is ok, I do believe they replaced all their videos of half naked young girls simulating sex acts with everyone with half hour shows of actual young woman who have real sex with random people...I am looking at you Kardasians....though I think your show is on E! ir some equally useless television station.
There is no glamour in being a prostitute. There is nothing glitzy, sexy or empowering about it. It is a thankless, emotionless, mechanical existence full of stale intentions and broken lives. Legal or not, that will not change.
Making it legal doesn't make it a better choice than it is, merely a safer one for the majority of the people involved in it.
As for the young ladies out there who are dragged, forced, abandoned, abused, neglected in to it, this will have zero effect on that.
We are to blame for that. We as a whole. We create an environment where it is ok to sexualize children. We live in a society where we make it possible for us to turn sexuality in to a weapon.
I recently began reading a book on the issue, and the thing I learned I wish to share with you at this time is the meaning of Lolita.
You see, we bandy about this term to describe the wanton sexual advances of young girls, or more to the point, the awkward sexuality that they present as they begin to discover this aspect of themselves. We use it to fullfill a fantasy of the taboo, and to make ourselves feel better about desires that are not socially acceptable.
Thing is, that is not what the author of Lolita meant. What you need to understand is that the Lolita character is a tragic figure. A young girl who is abused and tormented by her stepfather who justifies his actions by misinterpreting her actions and then labeling them as sexual advances.
The character of Lolita never does a single thing to invite this rape and abuse. Lolita is a victim, and not a seductive underage mistress.
That is a whole new thing we have created. I am not sure what we should label what we have done, but it is not healthy and it most assuredly is not right.
We have taken the developing sexuality of pre adolescent and adolescent girls and we have adopted a new attitude. One which allows for us to misuse and abuse it for our purposes; whether we are trying to sell sexy underwear or trying to find sexual gratification actually is beside the point.
This is what creates an atmosphere where selling sex for goods and services is a viable career choice.
At the same time we are regressing in our sexual education, we are tossing out sex symbols, sexually provocative clothing and mores that don`t jive with what we say.
Is it any wonder that youth, and most especially young women are confused and manipulated into situations beyond their ability to understand them or cope?
We need to broaden education, not limit it. We need to understand how sexuality develops and deal with it naturally and without shame or prudishness.
Sex is dirty, nasty, slimy, sweaty, and sex smells bad. Sex is wonderful and natural, and a true expression of feeling, and sex feels great.
Sex is a natural aspect of who we are, and sexuality is a natural expression of society and of our inherent nature. It is a thing to be celebrated, and a thing to be smart about. It is a thing everyone should be eased in to. Sexuality should develop over time, as the person matures and develops. It is not something to be thrust on to a person too early, or left until it is too late and they have no understanding of the things they are already going through.
Sex and sexuality is not something to hide, nor is it something that needs wanton flagrant flaunting in the streets...you know, unless that is fun and consensual and so forth.
Sex and sexuality is not a thing we should fear, it is a thing we should embrace.
In the spirit of my philosophy of authentic blogging of who I am: I love sex. It feels fantastic.
Of course there are different levels of sex.
Fucking. This is that animalistic type of sex which happens when desire outweighs anything else. This is raunchy and wet and dirty. It is best done between two people who know each other and each other`s bodies. It is the most fun because it is about true abandon, but it can only come about when the parties are in touch with each other, otherwise it becomes the next category.
Screwing. This is passionless sex. This is what prostitutes do, and it is what drunken teens and twenty somethings do. It usually preceeds deep regret and shame. This is what happens when people lack understanding of their sexuality and the true nature of sex. This is what happens when two uneducated morons decide to bump uglies.
Sex. This is your generic, I wanna get off type thing. This is what people mean by getting laid. This is fun sometimes, and sometimes it is a chore, but it is almost always satisfying in a narrow way. This is what married couples do after the first year and 90% of the time. It is also the type of sex that happens to unmarried people when the spark is lost and they are too lazy to end the relationship until one of the partners decides to seek a more fullfilling outside source of gratification.
Making Love. The true art form of sex. This is what happens between two people who are connected so deeply that they just mesh. This is slow and low, and it is sensual and romantic. It is not a myth and it is not just something that happens in trashy novels or chick flicks. This is that true outpouring of emotion that happens on several occasions for married people, or people in love. It doesn`t happen all the time, but when it does, it is the most awesomest feeling in the entire universe...I am assuming, since my frame of reference is somewhat small, though I do plan a trip to Jupiter at some point.
Fetish. I do not understand this category because I don`t have one. This isn`t just BDSM; it also includes, but is not limited to, having sex with feet, inanimate objects, anyone other than me, people in mascot uniforms, food (no I am not talking about that one time with the whipped cream and cherries, that is just fun...or the banana incident, I mean people who need to use food as a sexual surrogate) and voyeurs and the like. I simply have no...uhmmm...I hesitate to use the word abnormal, but...well I haven`t crosswired sex with anything out of the standard accepted realms.
Lastly we have abuse. This is where people have crosswiured sex and love with hate and anger. Yes, one must admit that a large segment of the ladies of negotiable affection (seriously, did you think I would not get that in here) population fits in here. The abused tend to dehumanize sex and their partners. Needing that same release we all do, they have designed a system that simply is unhealthy to get it.
We need to extol the virtues of some of this, and warn against the pitfalls of other aspects.
Simply saying, stay celibate, or stay safe is not enough.
Understanding desire and connection is more important than any other aspect of sexuality. It is at the center of all of our actions and when we can master our desires, by truly understanding and accepting them, we can learn to control them, channel them in to healthy outlets and live a more fullfilling (sex) life.
Of course, what the hell do I know, I am just a lonely guy wookin pah nub in all da wong paces.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Blockage
I am stuck. I am totally, completely, utterly stuck. Every fiber of my creative being in in a state of limbo like paralysis. I have no access to my mind in any fashion..
I am really not sure what happened, or more to the point what is happening. I thought maybe if I began writing this blog post something would occur to me, some kind of epiphany or at least a freaking brain fart, and I could splash this page with juicy nuggets of intellect and humour; a little something to get the old swagger back. Nothing.
Nada.
Zip.
Zero.
Zilch.
What scares me is the fact that this might not only be my groove. I have this crushing suspicion that this is also where I am at in my life. Paralysed in to some sort of comfortable inaction. For some people that might not seem like a huge deal. Life is about repetition, monotony, Pure cheesy (hey look kids, I was totally not stoned enough to forget Ren and Stimpy...if you don't know what that is then you have never been a pot smoking Canadian with too much time on their hands. Oh powdered toast man...which was a nickname of mine for a few weeks, and the ever popular LOG! And of course don't wizz on the electric fence...the home game...wait what was I talking about....did I just float off in to mesmeratia, the land of no thought, trying to spice this thing up with other people's creativity? This is what I am talking about people....ok where was I....)ridiculous long time over dull same old same old routine. There may even be some kind of unnatural attraction I have for certain aspects of that; you know the comfort of expectation, but not at the expense of spontaneity, or even the moment. This means I am afraid I am ready to blow a gasket.
Here's an example of what I am talking about. Last weekend, because I am dull and uninteresting, I decided to do something stupid. Here's what I did. I hit on the same chick (yes mean it that way people) that I had been hitting on for the last two years...well ok year and a half or so. I guess I just wanted the comfort of being rejected again. I do this with her every three months or so, just to remind myself that I suck I guess. I know the outcome before I even start, it is the same every time.She tells me she is not interested in dating anyone, which in case your girlie to english dictionary is broken means, I am waiting for someone better than you to show interest in me. Sometimes I like to pretend it means, you are too nice and I am waiting for a good looking douche who will treat me like shit to come along and I need to make sure I am single when that happens, but we all know that is creative licence.
The point is, rather than take a chance, try something new, dare to be different, I did the same old thing. I think the definition of insanity in some circles is doing the same thing over again expecting different results each time. This does not apply here because I am always expecting the same results. I want to be rejected, it fuels my need for self loathing. Don 't get me wrong I don't do it because I hate myself, I love myself too much for that, I mean look at me, I blog for crying out loud; something inside my head makes me think you need to hear (read) the dither, blithering rants that I spew forth at an alarming rate, because if you didn't your head would explode! No what I mean is something differently entirely.
I need that rejection so I can justify any crap that does actually happen. I do that to defend against the dark arts of the world. If things go too well, I always have that to fall back on.
And that leads me to the point of this (besides doing this instead of real writing) which is, do we as people crave disappointment in order to feel even better about our small successes? I went through this whole process to get to the idea that in order to safeguard myself against rejection that might actually mean something. I ask her out in order to avoid rejection from someone that might actually hurt me; someone whose opinion means more to me, or who might actually be worth long term investment. Maybe I thought she was a year ago, but really people, and sorry if she reads this and figures out I am talking about her, but frig, do I seem like I am trying anymore?
The same can be said for my editor...who never really wanted the job. She (yeah shock me back to life, did he say she?) read over my first bit of brilliant prose...and do you know what she said....she liked it and no real changes were necessary! In my head I am thinking wow, she hated it that much that it wasn't worth her time to rip it apart and tear me some type of new excreting orifice. Geez oh pizza, what now? What if no one will like it then? Oh crap, is it crap?
Gotta love lack of confidence huh? But you see here comes something that matters right about now..... I want people to like my writing. Yep. It is true. I want people to be entertained and enlightened (whatever the hell that means) by what I have to say. There are very few thing that people have in this world that define them in their own minds, and for me this is one of them. I want to be a writer. Because of this, I obsess a bit, so forgive me this little shamble of the brain.
In my heart of heart, the one tiny little piece that lies suspended in an adamantine enclosure to protect it from the elements and harpies that would choose to feast on its withered carcass, lies the truth of a thousand voices. I want em to like me.
But wait, there's another fat man with a pen that I mustn't forget.The Obi Wan to my Luke, the Yoda to my...well everyone else in the galaxy. Let's call him....uhhh Kevin Smith....I suck at names.... he has taught me one thing, no not the circus seal bit, I already knew trhat, that people will hate on me, and people will love on me. If I have something worthwhile to say, someone, somewhere will listen and in their own way say, read it, liked it. And for every one of those people, there are roughly 7 zillion asshats who will log on to the internet to tell me how fat, old, stupid, ugly, dumb and douchely I am. So screw it, which one of those groups do I do it for?
So for the one dude reading this and going, hey that shit makes sense in a weird unintelligible way, what up? And for the 7 zillion dbags who want a piece of me because they have nothing going for them in their own lives....bring it! I can handle you, and gosh darn it, I like me, even if you don't.
So Ladies and gentlemen, whether it is good or not, whether it is a strong example of what I can do or not, on Wednesday June 9th at 4pm est I am going to post an excerpt from my book that some old white guy thinks is worth spending money on. Read it, and praise me, or mock me, just do something to me....feed the troll!!
I am really not sure what happened, or more to the point what is happening. I thought maybe if I began writing this blog post something would occur to me, some kind of epiphany or at least a freaking brain fart, and I could splash this page with juicy nuggets of intellect and humour; a little something to get the old swagger back. Nothing.
Nada.
Zip.
Zero.
Zilch.
What scares me is the fact that this might not only be my groove. I have this crushing suspicion that this is also where I am at in my life. Paralysed in to some sort of comfortable inaction. For some people that might not seem like a huge deal. Life is about repetition, monotony, Pure cheesy (hey look kids, I was totally not stoned enough to forget Ren and Stimpy...if you don't know what that is then you have never been a pot smoking Canadian with too much time on their hands. Oh powdered toast man...which was a nickname of mine for a few weeks, and the ever popular LOG! And of course don't wizz on the electric fence...the home game...wait what was I talking about....did I just float off in to mesmeratia, the land of no thought, trying to spice this thing up with other people's creativity? This is what I am talking about people....ok where was I....)ridiculous long time over dull same old same old routine. There may even be some kind of unnatural attraction I have for certain aspects of that; you know the comfort of expectation, but not at the expense of spontaneity, or even the moment. This means I am afraid I am ready to blow a gasket.
Here's an example of what I am talking about. Last weekend, because I am dull and uninteresting, I decided to do something stupid. Here's what I did. I hit on the same chick (yes mean it that way people) that I had been hitting on for the last two years...well ok year and a half or so. I guess I just wanted the comfort of being rejected again. I do this with her every three months or so, just to remind myself that I suck I guess. I know the outcome before I even start, it is the same every time.She tells me she is not interested in dating anyone, which in case your girlie to english dictionary is broken means, I am waiting for someone better than you to show interest in me. Sometimes I like to pretend it means, you are too nice and I am waiting for a good looking douche who will treat me like shit to come along and I need to make sure I am single when that happens, but we all know that is creative licence.
The point is, rather than take a chance, try something new, dare to be different, I did the same old thing. I think the definition of insanity in some circles is doing the same thing over again expecting different results each time. This does not apply here because I am always expecting the same results. I want to be rejected, it fuels my need for self loathing. Don 't get me wrong I don't do it because I hate myself, I love myself too much for that, I mean look at me, I blog for crying out loud; something inside my head makes me think you need to hear (read) the dither, blithering rants that I spew forth at an alarming rate, because if you didn't your head would explode! No what I mean is something differently entirely.
I need that rejection so I can justify any crap that does actually happen. I do that to defend against the dark arts of the world. If things go too well, I always have that to fall back on.
And that leads me to the point of this (besides doing this instead of real writing) which is, do we as people crave disappointment in order to feel even better about our small successes? I went through this whole process to get to the idea that in order to safeguard myself against rejection that might actually mean something. I ask her out in order to avoid rejection from someone that might actually hurt me; someone whose opinion means more to me, or who might actually be worth long term investment. Maybe I thought she was a year ago, but really people, and sorry if she reads this and figures out I am talking about her, but frig, do I seem like I am trying anymore?
The same can be said for my editor...who never really wanted the job. She (yeah shock me back to life, did he say she?) read over my first bit of brilliant prose...and do you know what she said....she liked it and no real changes were necessary! In my head I am thinking wow, she hated it that much that it wasn't worth her time to rip it apart and tear me some type of new excreting orifice. Geez oh pizza, what now? What if no one will like it then? Oh crap, is it crap?
Gotta love lack of confidence huh? But you see here comes something that matters right about now..... I want people to like my writing. Yep. It is true. I want people to be entertained and enlightened (whatever the hell that means) by what I have to say. There are very few thing that people have in this world that define them in their own minds, and for me this is one of them. I want to be a writer. Because of this, I obsess a bit, so forgive me this little shamble of the brain.
In my heart of heart, the one tiny little piece that lies suspended in an adamantine enclosure to protect it from the elements and harpies that would choose to feast on its withered carcass, lies the truth of a thousand voices. I want em to like me.
But wait, there's another fat man with a pen that I mustn't forget.The Obi Wan to my Luke, the Yoda to my...well everyone else in the galaxy. Let's call him....uhhh Kevin Smith....I suck at names.... he has taught me one thing, no not the circus seal bit, I already knew trhat, that people will hate on me, and people will love on me. If I have something worthwhile to say, someone, somewhere will listen and in their own way say, read it, liked it. And for every one of those people, there are roughly 7 zillion asshats who will log on to the internet to tell me how fat, old, stupid, ugly, dumb and douchely I am. So screw it, which one of those groups do I do it for?
So for the one dude reading this and going, hey that shit makes sense in a weird unintelligible way, what up? And for the 7 zillion dbags who want a piece of me because they have nothing going for them in their own lives....bring it! I can handle you, and gosh darn it, I like me, even if you don't.
So Ladies and gentlemen, whether it is good or not, whether it is a strong example of what I can do or not, on Wednesday June 9th at 4pm est I am going to post an excerpt from my book that some old white guy thinks is worth spending money on. Read it, and praise me, or mock me, just do something to me....feed the troll!!
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